Who let the Dog out... WOOF WOOF WOOF..
Or.. in other words.. who hasn't let the dog out?
Terrier Dog Skye the dog with a gay name has been a resident with DTR for over 2 months and has this week given several press conferences some in English some in Dog langauge to his/her growing disbelief and unhappiness at his treatement.
Skye has barked uncontrollably particularly during Matchdays 1-5, dribbling salvia everywhere, annoying players and farting so frequently that at times it was as if Matchday 3 was actually played in a kennel.
Sky has vocally complained at was he/she sees is such neglectful treatment, that it borders on animal cruelty. The dog explained in an exclusive with the Canine Times that he/she has been exposed to high levels of Marijuana, low levels of oxygen, an extremelack of walks, lack of proper care and nutrition, cleaning, playtime and comfort.
During Matchday 5, Tournament players were treated to a live vomiting / re-eating your own food show as owner and co-host DTR watched passively on as his dog vomited and re-ate that afternoons lunch. Luke fasthands mechanic was so visibly affected that tournament play had to be halted for 15 minutes whilst he recovered. However, many of the players who believe that that particular moment was in fact a turning point in the match as it allowed Nathan Sheffield to take advantage of the sickly feeling felt amongst the group to make some fast moves and win the tournament. Many indeed claim that given Nathan's Asian cultural roots and beliefs actually benefitted him in this situation as he is already used to seeing dirty unloved animals roll around in theiur own filth vomiting and re-eating food of a smelly curry like texture.
Just Keep it in the closet (repost)
Yeaaaa... boom booom boom boom... booom boom booom booom booom.. goes the beat to Michael Jackson's 1991 smash hit 'in the closet' an early release to his hit smash album Dangerous.
Unfortunately for us, this is not a post where we reminisce over the genius that was Michael Jackson but in fact a unified and intentional rallying call from all Tournament poker players who are growing increasingly uncomfortable with DTR's homosexual behaviour.
River Ross quipped "It's bad enough him having that damned dog with a gay name.. now there's two of em!!!!"
Current league leader and leader of the "Asian Invasion Group" was unavailable for comment as he was too busy looking after the dog whilst on his lunch break.
Whilst the 'Pot Committed' league have always maintained a negative stance towards any anti social behaviour, race, prejudice or any form of discrimination, many tournament players have actually made a side bet as to when DTR will in fact.. "come out of the closet". Some even have this year's Valentines Day special as the day he makes his announcement. More on this breaking news to follow...
Slow roll play 'irks' Nick
The ole poker term 'think long, think wrong' certainly doesn't apply if your Johnny Mag or DTR. Fiery character Nick slowshuffle White expressed visual signs of distress towards his fellow players at what he felt was slowrolling and deliberate attempts to distract attention on Mathcdays 2 and 3. This was then followed up by his controversial refusal to invite number 1 seed Johnny Mag to Matchday 4.
Typically, and amongst many of the honours that have been lavished upon johnny Mag, he decided against lodging an appeal, deciding instead to refocus his game and concentrate on a return to the leagues summit.
Magani left fuming at 'lack of respect'
Poker Ace wildfireJohnny "Ivey Jnr" Mag was left fuming when he was refused a seat at the table for Matchday 4 at DTR's gaff. The then current league leader called it "the biggest scandal in poker history" when he was not invited to the fourth edition of the Pot Committed league. The player and favourite for this years title has enjoyed a mixed start to the leagues first inaugural edition. An electric start taking victory in the years first matchup answering all those who may have thought his understudy Nathan S was worthy of the number 1 seed, was then followed up by consecutive bottom 2 finishes before finishing runner up in Matchday 5. The number 1 seed and 2014 leading Moneylist winner claimed it was a 'deliberate and blatant' attempt to chnage a system that had been in place for nearly 10 years plus upset the number1 seed's rhythm.
After hours of intense textual discourse with understudy Nathan S, an agreement was finally reached which saw the ace return to his usual self with a classy 2nd place finish in Matchday 5. The stylish and recently tattooed poker star will be aiming to qualify for the first of 4 2015 Masters events in this weeks freeroll's at the Bristol Rainbow Casino. An event none of the other current poker league players have been able to qualify for.